I had a successful career, friends, a loving spouse, our dream home in a beautiful part of the country, the life that many probably only dream of, but it never felt enough. I had to produce. I had to succeed. I had to show “them” that I had made it. I could push through the thoughts of doubt, criticism, and fear of judgment, but the only way to truly quiet the voices of overwhelm, anxiety, and lack of control was to numb myself with alcohol. The wine had become my friend. She was always there for me, didn’t judge, and was a good listener. We appreciated each other.  

I thought I had it all together.

I had become emotionally dependent on alcohol. The pattern of overwhelm and anxiety had set in, I would hold on until I couldn’t, and then I would choose to escape. Sometimes I had enough willpower to hold on for days or weeks and, occasionally, even a month or more. There was never a rock bottom, but the all too frequent broken promises to myself and others that I would only have a couple of drinks were met with self-loathing, regret, and making amends. I would temporarily heal my thoughts and relationships, only to repeatedly fail myself and others. The cycle was predictable, destructive, and exhausting. 

Anxiety, unwind, regret, repeat.

As we moved into the second year of the COVID pandemic, I considered starting 2022 by taking a break from alcohol. I didn’t intend to stop; instead, I was taking a break and wanted to learn to control my drinking. I wanted to learn to moderate. I would embark on another “dry January,” but this time would be different. I fully immersed myself in the science-based, compassion-led 30-day alcohol-free challenge. In just 30 days, I began to discover the truth about alcohol, and importantly, I began to unpack some core beliefs about the substance and understand that the cycle I was caught up in could be broken. I stopped numbing myself and began to feel, really feel. I began to experience genuine hope that I could live a fulfilled, beautiful life without alcohol. Through a coach-led program, I transformed my relationship with alcohol and found freedom, peace, and a joy that I never knew was possible.

Finding Freedom.

Changing my relationship with alcohol has given me a life I don’t want to escape and many other benefits, including losing weight, restful sleep, increased energy, reduced anxiety, and time! Time to explore my interests and passions and genuinely connect with those in my life.

The constant brain chatter has been silenced, and I embrace the calm. I no longer spend time swallowed up in guilt and shame. My anxiety is gone, and my mind is free from obsession. I can focus on things with active interest and genuine engagement. I have space to dream and create the life I deserve.

Being alcohol-free healed my mind.

I sleep. I feel rested and restored and have the energy I never knew I was missing. No more abrupt awakenings in the middle of the night trying to piece together what I had done the night before.

Being alcohol-free healed my body.

I discovered my authentic self and all the joy that has come from the journey. I have left the shame behind and discovered a love for myself that I didn’t know was possible.

Being alcohol-free healed my soul.

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